everything seems so nice and perfect IN THE PAST!!!

hmm, finally i have the courage to confront her. i send her a email regarding how i feel about her and explain why i will treat her in that manner. i too agree with my friend tat i really treat her too badly and i also admit tat i was also in the wrong.

after emailing her and she msging me regarding about the mail, i think alot. wanna talk to someone to share my thoughts but my friends were all sleeping. so i decided to call gor in the end. we talked for like 2-3hrs on the phone. feel so loved at that moment. the next day, which was saturday. i talked to youngest grandaunty anout this matter. and yes, she really did know me inside out. cos she say tat i'm tat kind of person where i coulden't hold my breath for long. once i know something is not right and i have to settle it right away. i will straight do it without thinking of the consequence. yes i'm really this kind of ppl, that why i have lots of regret in me now.
grandaunty told me tat even though i know tat she is hurting me, but so wad. as long as i didn't heard it with my own ears, nothing is counted. i know about all this, but the problem now is tat she has done the same thing to me again lei. how can i not have the reason to suspect her. then grandaunty also say tat if i wanna continue to have this friend, then i shoulden't confront her, if i decide to confront her, then i must prepare to lose this friend. seriously speaking, she is not a bad friend i can say. cos when you are in need, she will help and when you need a listening ear, she will also hear. but the main thing is her mouth and her character. i also know tat everybody has their weak and strength, and between friends we must learn how to give and take. but i have alr tolerated for so long alr. even if i blast out now also not wrong right. argh!i also dunno. we all should sit down and talk face to face. this is the onli solution.

this is the first time i talk to youngest grandaunty anout my friends and personal stuff. otherwise we are always talking about grandma and sister and how am i gonna face the reality world if grandma is not around. cos all the while i'm hidding behind grandma and be like a small kid tat is being protected by all my relatives. and they say tat its time i should grow up. i should face everything in the world by myseld le, they won't be by my side forever. everybody will leave u, its onli a matter of time nia. after talking to her, i think alot and all the past memories of the good tat she did to me keep flying around me. should i think more of her good rather than her bad? is she meant to be my friend or just a passerby in my life?i dunno, this should pass it to "the person up there" to decide for me alr. and lets wait till the ans is out ba.